Control 2021 My Way

I am positive that there will be thousands of blog posts like this one being published today. Many of us reflect on what was 2020 and the end of a year that many believe and know to have caused hurt, loss, pain, sadness, despair, heartache, sickness, and death.

I remember the beginning of 2020. We flew to San Francisco to start the new decade of traveling. My husband had hopes and dreams for his family as he was feeling established after 15 years at this job. My kids were simply busy, living in the world of school, sports, and taking advantage of everything we had to offer them.

And I was doing the same thing of continuously looking for homes to stage while being an online creative who wanted to share what I knew with others. With no pressure to have to put food on the table.

Did I have high hopes for 2020 and the new decade? OH YEA I did, or at least I thought I did. I was re-reading my goals from 1/1/2020 and they completely lacked spirit, life. They were the same goals/resolutions of years prior, just worded differently.

Then March 13th came. My kid’s last day of school. Covid spreading. Then April 17th came. My husband’s last day of work. Covid destroying lives, families, careers. Everything.

I think my husband losing his job hit me harder than him. Well, I should clarify, he knows me and my anxiety and has stayed positive and strong every since. On the other hand, my worries, stress, anxiety took over. I started walking 5 miles every day. Literally every single day. To find my thoughts. To find my calm. To find my happiness. To find me. I would walk every day to a pier looking over the rough waters of Lake Michigan and most days I took a minute to look out into the vastness and literally ask myself, “Oh God and Papi Leo (I pray to my grandfather too) help me. Help me so I can help my family.”

For 18 years my husband worked his ass off. Brining his laptop to every vacation. Well, he didn’t take his first vacation until almost a decade at his job. The vacation he did take was him back in the room working while I went out with the kids to explore. He was burnt out and I knew he needed some time to re-energize.

And I wanted to give him that time.

He always took care of us. It was my turn. But how?

After 185 miles walked, in the middle of June I was standing at the water’s edge at the same pier I had seen for 90 days straight, saying my daily prayer. When I heard a noise behind me, a man digging a hole on someone’s front lawn. Then placing an @properties sign indicating the house was for sale.

I looked up at the sky and smiled. “I hear you.”

My husband has told me for a decade to get my real estate license and I always fought him on it. I told him I was a “creative” and loved the freedom I had with that. But, if I was, to be honest with myself, I wasn’t happy with it. Every time I worked endless hours with a client to get their home ready to sell. Then a realtor came in and sold it in a day, or even before hitting the market, I got depressed. Like really depressed.

I wanted the spotlight and I am okay to admit that now. I wanted to have my name on that For Sale sign. I wanted to be with my client negotiating buyer offers. I wanted to be there with my client on closing day, hugging them and saying “we did it.” But, I was out of the picture.

On June 13th I registered for my course. I wrote down my actual goals. NOT these spiritual revelation type goals but concrete goals with actual dates.

1. Sign up for brokers course 06/13/2020
2. Pass the final exam by my Birthday 8/22/2020
3. Sign up for State/National Exam and pass by 10/01/2020
4. Join my dream brokerage by 10/13/2020 and become a Realtor
5. Launch my business/website/brand 10/30/2020
6. 11/1/2020 Begin My New Career

Three things happened. One, every goal was met by the exact date. I have learned that putting a numerical value to goals holds me accountable. Two, I got my first listing 2 weeks later on 11/13/2020. Three, I took control. CONTROL.

My key word for 2021 is Control

We, I, lost control in 2020. We couldn’t control anything. We lost the control to go to the supermarket when this all started. We lost control of seeing our friends and families when and how we wanted to. I know people who followed all the rules and did everything right and still got covid and were terrified. Families lost loved ones. People lost jobs. We lost control.

Back in Summer/Covid 2020, I started my NEW YEAR! I was done waiting. I was done not having control.

I have one word for 2021.

1. Control.

I can’t control what a virus will do. I can’t control what people think of me. I can’t control what friends will decide to let me go this year. I can’t control what in-laws perceive of me. I can’t control if my husband will have a job or not. But, I can’t control A LOT.

What I can control?

My daily schedule. My career. What I want to accomplish and by when. I am not talking about my spirit / my health, I am speaking about the life that will give my kids the life they deserve!

Some might say to me, obsessing over control can cause other emotional issues. Yes, I agree, speaking from someone who suffered from an eating disorder for over a decade. It’s all about control. But, the difference is that before I was trying to control aspects of my life I had no control of.

But I do have control over how much money I make. How many clients I will have. How quickly I can get a house listed. How many hours I put in every day to reach my career goals. I am not going to focus on controlling what I can’t but I CAN!

As a creative influencer, it is fun and has its advantages. But a free meal or a free kid’s outfit or bag of granola will not pay the electric bill. And more importantly, I am worth more than a free product. It took me a while to realize that and I hope other mom influencers out there realize that too. We are worth more than that.

It is okay to grow and CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN. I can control the fact of when I want to change something. The power of change exists. Success is making a commitment to change and making yourself better. I have control over that. I haven’t done it before, but I am doing it now.

It’s okay if you are flourishing now because of the struggle. 2020 was a struggle for so many. Many finished Netflix. lol. I started the year that way and halfway through I took control. I was scared to start a new career in the middle of a global pandemic. But what better time, when everyone else was sitting back waiting for it to end, I took control, got up, and ran to greater things.