When it comes to anything other than interiors or staging I am a little quiet over here on the blog. Funny thing is, not so much over on Instagram. I kind of let my hair down and share more, maybe it’s because over there, the audience seems more removed. But, a few times I have shared a day in the life series and people, moms, women, have seemed to respond pretty well to it. So, as we come to the beginning of a New Year and reflect back, I wanted to open up and share this little journey I started earlier this year, finding my voice (again), hey, it even made the local paper yesterday (I shared that at the bottom).
Lifestyle Series: Finding My Voice (again)
As a teenager and young women in college, I can admit, I had a strong voice. I even wrote very opinionated pieces for a college paper, a very liberal college paper. If I saw something or someone do something morally wrong or just not kind, I was always the person that spoke up. Always. You can ask my brother, he even fired me from work one day (we were teens and worked for my dad, my brother was my boss). But, I look back at that day he fired me, it was because I spoke up to a drunk man who was not respectful to a 17-year-old girl, me. Now, I wasn’t always like that, I had a not so great experience back in high school and I remember thinking, this will not define me. It made me stronger and more powerful cause of it, heck, I even got a tattoo of the Chinese symbol for fire. Hot, strong, tempered, and ready to stay lit for a long time.
I liked “me” then. I knew what I liked, I knew who I liked (and didn’t) and I knew how to voice it and carry my own style. Well, I got married, young, and had three wonderful children. I feel that many moms go through what I did. All of a sudden, ten years have gone by, literally, you act and look and feel like a mom. Now, I am a damn hard-working mom, but I don’t know how to explain it, you lose yourself. You lose your voice, cause god forbid you say something that upsets a popular mom at your kid’s school, upset family, or you lose work/clients over it. So, you lose your style, your voice, cause, well, yoga pants and t-shirts work just fine for cooking and baby spit up. And you just be.
Now, yes, a couple of years into having kids I started a Home Staging business. I think I did cause I was desperate for an outlet to express myself. Maybe in a way, it kept me sane and saved me too. But, at the end, it was or is work. I still knew the old me, Keki, was hiding.
So, earlier this year I turned 39. Yup, I said it, 39. I knew it was time to be real and honest. I did some very personal posts about this on instagram. Needing, wanting, to find who I am again, my style, my voice. Remember over on instagram, I had a little break down?
Sometimes, I think you need that. I began to rebuild. To know I can be strong, take care of my body/skin/soul, but more importantly, learn to feel confident and strong in the body I have and use my voice again. I took on my own style / self challenge. Quietly in my own little world. Doing what I hate, I started shopping for clothes. As I got the hang of it, I realized I hated it cause I wasn’t living my true self as a mom. My true style. I’m not a girlie girl. You won’t find me in a floral print or a Vineyard Vines outfit (EVER). You won’t find me preaching about spirituality either, but I read and read this past year and learned more about me than I have in all the years combined.
You might have noticed, I started using Keki again. It was always there. Heck, my blog has always been my alter ego, Keki, my nickname before having kids. I did start a business as Cecilia Cannon, and years ago, when blogs had a bad rap I started my blog in my nickname. To keep it separate from my business. As if ashamed, embarrassed to use the name I love, adore, and grew up with, and to express myself.
Well, this year is coming to a close, it was a journey, and I can know proudly say, this is me. I am Keki. HERE me roar!
OH YEA! and perfect timing, yesterday my letter to the editor was published. We Are Empowered.
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Krystal Butherus says
I am so happy to read that you’ve found your voice (again)! I think we all need to make that first step, and find our voice as well!
Laura @ MommyDearest says
I love that you were able to find your voice again. Often as mother’s we get lost in the job and truly lose ourselves. But if we can truly find ourselves our voices will not be lost.
Melissa Chapman says
This was so nice and real honesty. I think 39 is the same as 37 and 38 but when you get into your 40s like me you might feel a little, not much, older.
Lisa Favre says
You are one inspirational woman! I know how it is to sometimes feel like what we say doesn’t matter or doesn’t count – but it totally does! I’m so happy you found your voice again.
serena says
So happy to hear you have found your voice again! Thanks so much for being so open and honest in the post.
Rebecca Bryant says
So happy you have found your voice again. It’s easy to lose it and we all need to take the time to find it when we do.
Karen Morse says
I love, stand tall and proud of who you are! That piece of yours is powerful and I hope more and more women speak up! Continue to be an inspiration! You look amazing!
Erica says
Congrats on making the paper. I was so soft-spoken and timid growing up. So I’m really just finding my voice for the first time. It’s great that you remember what it’s like to be your authentic self, and that you’re moving back in the direction. It is a brave journey.
Joanna @ Everyday Made Fresh says
Loved this. Sometimes as moms we sort of forget who we actually are and just take on the role of who we think we are supposed to be. It’s hard to find yourself again. I’m working on that right now.
Terri Steffes says
I read the article you wrote for the paper with great interest. It was the first time that I noticed how often women were said to be “complaining.” Sexual harrassment isn’t complaining, gentleman. It is INFORMING.
Shell says
I’m so happy for you that yiu found your voice again! As mamas we often forget who we are as a person and only see ourselves as a certain role… You are totally rocking and I look forward to reading more of your blog!
brianne says
What an inspiring and heartwarming post. I am so happy you found your voice again, sometimes we forget about ourselves!
Jessica Joachim says
I love this, and I love that you were able to find your voice again! I feel like after becoming a mom I lost mine for a while as well. WE get so absorbed in our kids that we can lose ourselves. I was able to start my blog to really have something for myself and it has been wonderful!
Amy says
Love your writing and miss you! Your sincerity and genuine voice inspire others and reflect your sparkle, intelligence and beauty! Keep going, stay strong, and hop on a plane to Charlotte and whip my house into decorating shape!
kim says
Finding ones voice (again) is so important, especially for us bloggers. We tend to write for other people more, so it’s important we check in with our own self and remember what we started blogging for in the first place.
Yona Williams says
I kind of feel like you (finding my voice), but in my case, it’s in person. I’ve always been highly opinionated online, but I’ve been speaking my mind more often during face-to-face interactions lately.
Megan says
What an inspiring post! For all of those who hold back a little its nice to also see how liberating it can be to truly open up! Way to go!
Angela Tolsma says
I love this so much! It’s so hard to keep your voice sometimes, but having the courage and strength to find it back is amazing.
Rachel says
I’m so glad to hear that you have found you voice again. It is an odd thing when you realize that you lost yourself after you had kids.
Jessica says
I’m very happy you fund your voice again! I love how your post is honest and open! Thanks for sharing it!
Shoshana Sue says
Hooray! I hope Keki is here to stay, no more hiding woman. This is who you are and never let being a mum or being politically correct put a shade in your Keki. I will drink to your rediscovering yourself woman!
Angela Cardamone @marathonsandmotivation.com says
This is such a great post! I enjoyed reading the newspaper piece. So happy you have found your voice again!!
AnnMarie John says
I love the new/old name that you’re using and that you’re focusing on yourself. We need that too, especially when we’re already taking care of the house and the kids. We need our sense of self and to empower that and improve it.
Reesa says
What a great article in the paper! It’s not easy to self reflect and be honest with ourselves to find out voices!
Brittany Giles says
i am the same way on instagram i feel like i can just be me and i need to transfer that to my blog. I really enjoyed this post.
Heather says
Feeling comfortable and confident is so important! Kudos to taking the time to recognize what you really need at this point in your life! I think your mom style is fabulous!
Kimberly Lewis says
I think we all go through this one time or another in our life! It’s great when you can learn from it and grow to be a stronger woman!
Danielle says
I feel like you’re my cyber spirit animal. I’m way more comfortable sharing my voice over on IG. Rarely do l get personal on my blog anymore, I’m not really sure why but l do miss it and promised myself to do it more often. Congrats to finding your voice and Happy Holidays!
Cindy Ingalls says
I think this happens to a lot of women. As we grow up and enter the “real” world our voices can be tamped down. Or we lose focus on ourselves because we are so busy focusing on our job, our kids, etc. But it feels so incredible when we decide it is time to find our voice again and share it with the world. We have a lot to say and it needs to heard, especially in today’s climate.
Andrea says
It is so important to find your voice, and I feel like it happens to a lot of us. We grow up and are supposed to do certain things life life a certain way and then when we get there its like, wait no. i don’t want this and we have to find a way to create a space for what make us happy and just find yourself.
Lynnette Joselly says
Glad to hear you have found your voice. Some parents tend to get lost in their kids just because they need so much attention and life is no longer just about you so I think it’s perfectly normal for some time so welcome back Keki!
Cecilia Cannon says
thank you Lynnette, it is important that women don’t lose their truths, their voice